when will I have it I wonder
2023.05.19
part i
hark! look!
it’s in the skies!
it’s right there! soaking the sun!
right above our infectious rot
when will I have it, I wonder
open to the heavens
open to the sun
but our sepsis never leaves our pus-filled souls
i feel it everywhere, even in my toes, as it
eats
me alive,
when will I have it, I wonder
when every ladder I make, every escape I devise
crumbles
into
mud.
when my abscess cracks, spilling without form, old rot filling my veins
when will I have it, I wonder
part ii
hark! it speaks!
Grow. Feel.
Feel upon my tendrils. They ached. They die.
I ached. I changed.
Pain, syrup, and sinus infected me.
I buckled.
They were wrong.
I scraped the clouds through my petals.
I walk on air. It is the air I breathe.
In me comes the sky,
from me comes my scars.
Again, feel me. Touch me. Learn me.
From here comes aching.
And from here comes breath.